4 Ways To Teach Your Children About Biblical Sexuality
As parents, we must ask ourselves and plan how will we go about teaching our children God’s design for sex throughout every stage of their upbringing.
Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale recently wrapped up a series on Sexuality & the Gospel, which focused on how Christians can honor God with their bodies. This can be a rather tricky and awkward subject for parents to discuss with their children, but one that is so incredibly essential to address if we want this next generation of leaders to be set apart and grounded in truth when (not if) they encounter our culture’s take on sexuality. Here are some practical tips and tools that will help you on your parental journey:
Start Early Many of us are familiar with “THE TALK,” however, discussing sexuality in an age-appropriate manner should be one of many ongoing talks. For the little ones, you can start by discussing how God made us male and female and how our bodies are different. By regularly checking in, not just when there’s an issue, you are encouraging a healthy dialogue with your child that doesn’t involve shame or embarrassment, which can be more likely to occur in random one-off conversations. If culture is always discipling our children in this area, we as parents definitely should be too.
Mothers and fathers should be equally equipped to have these conversations. Even though children will likely gravitate more toward the parent who is of their same sex to have conversations related to puberty as they get older, it is important for the other parent to still maintain approachability and look for teachable moments to provide biblical guidance on sexuality as a whole.
Communicate with Grace To establish this open line of communication in which your children feel comfortable coming to you first when they have questions or need advice, your words should be free of judgement, full of love, and ultimately grounded in biblical truth. God has so much to say in His Word about His design for marriage, sex, and how we can honor Him with our bodies. But more importantly, we should steer our children toward the pursuit of holiness and being more like Jesus in every area of their lives. 1 Peter 1:16 says, “for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’”
Help Guard Their Minds and Hearts We get it. Parenting in this digital age is no easy feat. Although some of us may feel inclined to shelter our children from devices altogether, we encourage you to establish with them what healthy behaviors and relationships with technology should look like while balancing that with taking prudent precautions. Maybe this means only using devices in the family room, or not using headphones to listen to music, or you installing device monitoring software that blocks inappropriate content. Impure actions first stem from impure thoughts, which can be triggered by what our senses are exposed to. The classic children’s Bible song “O Be Careful, Little Eyes” has so much truth and can even minister to us as adults!
Remember, God has tasked you with being their parent… not their best friend. And in that role, it is our responsibility to lead and protect our children, even if that means not earning the “popular vote” in your household. Pray and ask the Lord for wisdom. James 1:15 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Use Books and Other Resources There are a plethora of age-appropriate books for kids and teens that are written by Christian authors who provide biblical insight on this topic. Click here to view a few of those books. Dr. Juli Slattery, author and speaker as well as the president/co-founder of the organization Authentic Intimacy, recommends that parents look into the award-winning book series written by Stan Jones, which addresses God’s design for sex for different age levels. She also recommends that parents of teens check out the ministry Axis. Additionally, CCA families have access to RightNow Media, which has videos, resources, and materials related to this topic for both parents and teens.
These recommendations should never serve as an alternative to speaking to your children about biblical sexuality, but rather as a supplement and tool that can help you spark discussion and give them the opportunity to follow-up with questions for you to answer.
You don’t have to go through this journey alone as a parent. We encourage you to build relationships with other Christian parents who can support you every step of the way while also utilizing Christian resources that are available to you.
When we establish open, truthful, continual, and age-appropriate communication with our children, we have the opportunity to help them appropriately navigate this area of life as opposed to them having to encounter and engage with it on their own. May we rise up as the spiritual leaders God has called us to be in our homes, pointing our children toward the truth so they can unapologetically follow God’s way — the best way.
Steve Mayo serves as the Director of Discipleship at CCA. He also collaborates with the Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale's Six78 and HSM youth ministries, and assists with overseeing the church’s Vision 2023 Education Team. He and his wife Morgan have three children who attend CCA — Titus, Quincy, and Maxwell.
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