Where Do We Go From Here?

You are still the number one influence in your child’s life!

1. Model Compassion
   
   Compassion is caught more than it is taught. Jesus was the prime example of this. He had a knack for seeing the person in the crowd who needed Him most and His heart broke for them. We need to run to the lonely and brokenhearted.
   
   In Luke 15, Jesus tells a parable about a man who had 100 sheep. One got lost, so he left the other 99 to go after the one. Jesus was the ultimate example of this kind of compassion. He often withdrew from the high class citizens and spent meaningful time with the outcasts and the sinners.
   
   In most cases, the kids who commit heinous crimes are outcasts. They are often ridiculed and rejected by everyone. As we disciple our children, and encourage them to be like Christ, we have to ask ourselves the question, How would Jesus pursue someone like this? Then ask if we are the model of compassion we want our kids to follow.
   
   Who in your life do you have a hard time showing compassion towards? Maybe that’s the person you need to "leave the 99" for. And trust me, when you do, your kids will notice. And guess what? They just might do the same. I believe that there are students all over South Florida that feel cast out and alone. They are just waiting for someone, anyone, to notice them, to ask how they’re doing, to hang out with them on a weekend. Compassion lived out on a daily basis can change the landscape of South Florida.
   
   
2. Beware of the Social Media Trap
   
   My wife and I had a conversation recently about social media and the impact it has had on our lives. We asked the question: What negative things has social media brought about in my life? Distractions, lack of focus, easy cop out from face to face conversations, constant comparison with other people that is consistently killing our joy... the list went on and on. Then we asked: What positive things has social media done for us? [Crickets] We couldn’t think of one thing. Seriously. Not one.
   
   This conversation got me thinking . . . Why do I spend so much of my time and energy in a fake reality? Why do I care so much what other people think of me? Why am I even on social media? So, I deactivated my accounts. No more Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. I decided I was done. And guess what? I don’t miss it one bit.
   
   So how does all this apply to the school shooting that happened in February? Well, the more you compare yourself with other people (or the online version of other people), the more joy gets sucked out of your life. Nehemiah 8:10 tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength! Not our online persona. Constantly comparing ourselves with others causes anger and resentment that can lead to more dangerous thoughts and actions towards others.
   
   I know that our culture tells young people that they need social media. Don’t get me wrong! I believe social media can be used for good. But I also believe that it brings more hurt and pain than gratification. It’s a trap. It’s not worth it.
   
   So what’s the challenge? Maybe you take a break from social media for yourself to see what God shows you. Maybe you encourage your kid to take a break from social media for a while and debrief afterwards to see how it went. Whatever works for you and your family! I promise you won’t regret taking a break, even if it’s just for a little while.
   
   
3. Invite Hard Questions
   
   Now more than ever before, teenagers are looking for answers. They don’t just want to just be told that Jesus is the hope of the world; they want to know why. They don’t just want to just be told that church is important; they want to know why! If you’re a parent of a teenager, you don’t need me to tell you that they ask some hard questions.
   
   Often, our tendency is to retreat when hard questions get asked. It’s not that we don’t want to help, we’re just embarrassed that we don’t know the answer (I’ve been there many times). But if we are going to have honest conversations with our kids, we have to invite the hard questions. Your teenager needs to know that your home is a safe place to ask questions.
   
   Will you know all the answers? Absolutely not. Saying “I don’t know” is not a bad thing. Saying “let’s find the answer together” could be the powerful words that begin an awesome hunt to find biblical truth. Whatever the question, invite your teenager to ask it and celebrate the journey of revelation and discovery!
   
   I’ve encountered so many young people over the past couple months that are asking great questions about life, God, politics, etc. in the aftermath of this tragedy. They are looking for a safe place to ask these questions. And let’s be honest, if they can’t ask them at home, they’ll find somewhere else to ask them. And you probably won’t like the answers they’ll get other places. So make your home a safe place where hard questions are welcome!

Your teenager needs to know that your home is a safe place to ask questions.